During the turmoil during the advent of the second Darkstar War, when the lizard people in the Gorani wasteland of the southern tip of the Sundarian continent were at war amongst each other and with then-Archbishop Jeremiah Bradford and his forces, a crazed power-hungry lizard man decided he was god. This lizard man was Sssarlax, and he and his forces took any settlement or village or gathering of lizard folk they found and made it his. Usually, by force. Sssarlax had a habit of raping every single lizard person in a new tribe added to his rapidly-growing empire to ensure his own dominance and remind them who their ruler was. Hahrrn was a boy born of one such incident.
Because of the circumstances of his birth, Hahrrn spent his early years in self-imposed exile from his fellow lizard people. He didn't feel like his life had a purpose, or that he should even be alive. His thoughts often drifted towards suicide, but his mother was his source of strength to carry on. His mother never had any other children and couldn't find a mate to help her, so for the first almost ten years of his life, Hahrrn's mother was his only real friend. She cared for him as best as she could, but her health had been deteriorating due to the injuries she sustained on that fateful night of Hahrrn's conception coupled with several complications during her pregnancy and shortly after laying the egg he hatched from. Hahrrn started doing odd jobs to help bring her medicines from the village shaman and the market, but he couldn't earn nearly enough for the things she really needed. She died when Hahrrn was thirteen, leaving him completely alone.
While out wandering the village he lived in one day, searching for either a job he could do or something he could eat, he bumped into another young lizard boy. They had met before at one of Hahrnn's various jobs, but they were never more than associations. Hahrrn barely remembered his name as Koch. The boy asked him how he had been and how his mother was, seeing as it had been a couple of years since their last encounter. Hahrrn broke down into tears and ran. He ran as far as he could, away from his village and out into the desert, where he decided he'd just have to stay. Koch followed him.
It was nearly a week before Koch found Hahrnn, lying half-asleep and barely alive in a cave atop some rock formation south of their village. He had been exposed to the frigid nights of the desert with nothing to keep him warm, and was very sick from that coupled with a lack of food or water. Koch gave him some food from his pack and some water from his waterskin, but seriously doubted Hahrnn's chances of survival. Despite Hahrnn telling Koch to leave him to die, to let his suffering and misery end, he would not. He kept bringing him food and water, and eventually Hahrnn was healthy again. But he wasn't happy, and he figured he never would be.
As if his life wasn't already confusing enough, what with doubting his own purpose and not wanting to live at times, Koch was about to make it even harder for Hahrrn without even meaning to. Koch came back to the cave one day and saw Hahrrn sitting at the mouth, staring off into the dune sea, his leg and tail dangling over the edge. "I really don't know if I can keep doing this." he said, his gaze unshifting.
"What do you mean?" Koch asked, unsure of what Hahrrn was getting at.
"I just can't keep pretending everything's fine. I just can't keep on going, it's just too damn hard. My mother's dead, and she's all I ever had, all I ever knew."
Koch sat down next to Hahrnn and wrapped a sympathetic arm around him. "You've got me." he said, trying to calm his friend.
Hahrrn looked into his friend's eyes. "Yeah, for now. But I'm bad luck. Get away from me before something terrible happens to you."
"Like what?" Koch asked, then he completely surprised Hahrrn when his tail wrapped around his friend's backside.
"What are you doing?" Hahrrn demanded, bolting up and backing against the wall. "You're my friend, but I don't see you like that." But in all truth, he couldn't deny that this was the first true affection anyone other than his mother had ever shown him, and it felt good. It felt very good. When Koch stood up and ran his hands down the young lizard boy's shoulders, he couldn't say that he didn't like it. He and Koch made love right there, on the cave floor.
When Hahrrn awoke, Koch was asleep with his arms wrapped around his waiste. He immediately regretted the events of the previous evening. He knew he liked females, so the fact that having Koch inside him was the best feeling he had ever had confused and frightened him. Unsure of how things would transpire and unsure of what he wanted, Hahrrn quietly slipped away and ran again. This time, he was more careful to protect himself from exposure and was able to gather ample food and water, and he spent the next unknown amount of time simply wandering the Gorani wasteland, careful to never be captured by Sssarlax's warriors. |
